Why it pays to compliment your colleague?

Most employees will be motivated to perform better if their managers praise and compliment them more often. In fact, 67% of employee’s believe that this is a top motivator compared to financial and non-cash incentives according to recent survey from Gallup.

But why are compliments so powerful? To answer this question, let’s have a look at what the experts have to say:

1. Psychological research concludes that positive reinforcement works better than punishment
2. Neurologists claim that dopamine, a chemical in our brain, is released when we hear something positive about ourselves
3. Management experts state that praise is a great and free way to boost engagement and performance

The other day, I spoke with a colleague who had good news, he finished the project on time. In a complex environment, and for this person, a complex profession, he had really good news.

After a hard week, we meet again at work and my immediate reaction was to tell him how happy I was for him. That compliment was rebuffed, with a few mumbled words: “Oh, I think I was just lucky.” A few minutes later, I tried to compliment him again in front of few colleagues.

This time, I was serenaded with a depressed, “Thanks, but probably I’m not the only one responsible for that.”

When I tried to give a compliment a third time, I received yet another apologetic response.

At that point, I was sorry I even bothered, but it also made me think. Why is accepting a compliment so difficult for so many of us? Is it superstition?

I’m a pretty superstitious guy myself, but are we really going to let superstition stop us from graciously accepting a compliment?

If our superstition centers around a fear of not receiving any more compliments, discounting a compliment may very well prove to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Is it modesty? Last time I checked, receiving a compliment from someone else is quite different from blowing one’s own horn. Is it a learned behavior? Personally, I think we are taught at a young age to step away from a compliment, and brush it off to avoid the risk of sounding arrogant.

Since I’m practicing Management 3.0 tools almost for 3 years, I decide to try the Kudo cards exercise with my team, trying to experiment with different solution for giving compliments and praise, then the previous way I just explained which to be honest didn’t work very well.

Beginning of September was pretty busy month for our team, due to the new product launch (business simulation for product knowledge) for one of our most important clients. During the launch all team members had 15 min presentation and 10 min feedback session from the rest of the team.

What I did differently this time, instead of giving just compliments from my mount, I introduce the “Kudo cards” tool from Management 3.0 with the team and explain them the importance of the praise for people when they finish their project on time, on budget and with satisfied client.

This time a designed the entire process of giving the praise, actually I create an algorithm for giving praise or compliment, by using the Kudo cards.

The algorithm has seven steps and by using all of them, it gives value and importance for the entire process of praise and appreciation, more than just given verbal compliment.

1. Opening the conversation in a positive and enthusiastic atmosphere.
2. Being specific saying for what exactly you compliment the teammate.
3. Value why what he/she did is important for you and for the team.
4. Ask how did he do that? Let him explain shortly how he achieved that.
5. Open conclusions how this experience can be used in the future.
6. Write the Kudo card with compliment for the achievement and sign it.
7. Giving the appropriate Kudo card in positive manner, with hug if possible :)

I personally praised three colleagues for: contribution to the project, dedicated teamwork and successful onboarding of new hire.

Then I ask all the colleagues to give Kudo cards to somebody in the room for anything concerning the work: showing positive cultural beliefs, inspiring leadership, creativity…

Even the colleague I mention before reacted more emotional when he receive Kudo card from associate for: “Job well done”, what was for me a good lesson for giving compliments.

Later, we made team decision to carry over with the Kudo cards in any occasion, but to keep on the algorithm and always give written and signed Kudo card.

What I learned from this tool as a facilitator:

1. Always give written compliments, they are more powerful than verbal.
2. Some people fill uncomfortable when you recognize then in front of other people, so one size don’t fit all is applicable here. Some people like to be praised in one on one session.
3. When someone pays you a compliment, it’s a very important moment for that person.
4. Someone has been so moved by something you did that he or she felt a need to step forward, move past his or her own fear, and uncomfortably tell you something that is somewhat personal.
5. Always give the compliment with emotions, from your heart, with a smile, a handshake, and a look of satisfaction for the courage to offer those thoughtful words to somebody.

What will I try differently and experiment at the next occasion:

1. I’ll create a Kudo wall, so everybody can put his Kudo card there and Kudo box, with various candies and sweet things everybody gets when he receives a Kudo card.
2. For start, I’ll create Kudo wall on our Miro board and invite my colleagues to use it
3. Later I’ll search for some (as kudos in Slack or LinkedIn) to give the praise digitally
4. I’ll connect this tool with the “Big values” list and give Kudo to anyone who has shown culture change or proved new cultural belief aligned to our corporate values.

Recognizing people and celebrating achievement are important part of building and maintaining a positive team culture. There are many ways to celebrate individual or team achievement. The key is that, whatever the reward is, it must be appropriate and fair.

We need to understand the team members and what drives them, make some time to say thank you, and really mean it — deep from the heart. Showing gratitude really works in practice.

For more info on this topic you can visit: https://management30.com/practice/kudo-cards/

I’d like to finish this article with the quote:

“A teacher takes a hand, opens a mind and touches a heart.” — Unknown

Take care and stay safe,

U.F.O.